Sunday 25 October 2026
A short one this week, because most of what I did was reading.
The research is working. The reading list I started in the summer has turned into a real library. There are law reports, the Children’s Voices study, papers on how children’s views are counted (or not counted) in decisions about them, and accounts by people born through surrogacy. Some of those people disagree strongly with each other, and with what I expected. The difference from the summer is that the sources are now earning their place. Several have already changed a page on the site, and a few changed my mind.
The research started something else. While reading, I kept coming back to one question. What happens to someone who has a stake in a decision but cannot speak for themselves when it is made? In surrogacy, that person is the child. Every big decision about them is made before they exist, by adults who mean well. I have turned that question into an essay. I’m not going to say where it is going until it has gone. The interesting part is that the two projects feed each other. The research gives the essay its evidence. The essay makes me read the research more sharply, because it forces me to ask whose voice is actually in each source, and whose is missing. I didn’t plan for that loop, but it has been the best part of the month.
The beta needs work, and I know where. The hardest page is the US. There isn’t one American answer. Surrogacy law is decided state by state, so “what does the law say in the US?” really means “which state?” I need to work out how to show that honestly without turning the page into fifty pages. Next comes Italy. An Italian lawyer has helped my family through the new law there, and I’m writing to ask if they will help with the Italian page.
The plan for the end of the month is to start with the three countries closest to my own story: the UK, the US and Italy. All three should be on the site when Ms. Shafqat and the two lawyers see it. That is six days away, so it’s going to be a busy week.
— D.
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